When we experience a traumatic event, our brain often stores the memory based on what we are feeling and sensing at that time.
Sometimes when we are experiencing and responding to extreme fear or danger, our memories are not processed and stored in the usual way. Again, this is not your giving your attacker consent, it is an instinctive survival mechanism. Friend: calling for a 'friend' or bystander for help, for example by shouting or screaming, and/or 'befriending' the person who is dangerous, for example by placating, negotiating, bribing or pleading with them.Your mind can also shut down to protect itself. This is an automatic reaction that can reduce the physical pain of what's happening to you.
Flop: similar to freezing, except your muscles become loose and your body goes floppy.This is a common reaction to rape and sexual violence. Freezing is not giving consent it is an instinctive survival response. Animals often freeze to avoid fights and potential further harm, or to 'play dead' and so avoid being seen and eaten by predators. Freeze: going tense, still and silent.
Flight: putting distance between you and danger, including running, hiding or backing away. Fight: physically fighting, pushing, struggling, and fighting verbally e.g. This can also have the effect of blocking rational thinking, which is why in times of extreme stress and fear, we sometimes feel our heads are cloudy or that we can't concentrate.īecause we hear a lot about 'fight or flight', we can sometimes feel disappointed, frustrated or even angry with ourselves that when we were in a situation of extreme fear or danger, we didn't experience superhuman strength or speed to struggle or run off.īut the other three common reactions to fear and danger - freeze, flop and friend - are just as instinctive as fight or flight, and we don't get to choose which ones we experience in the moment.Īll five responses are our bodies' automatic ways of protecting us from further harm and surviving a dangerous situation: Deactivate bodily functions that aren't immediately important, like digestion. Tighten our muscles, ready for use if needed. Speed up our heart rate and breathing, to increase the oxygen and blood going to our muscles. When our brains alert our bodies to the presence of danger, our bodies respond automatically.įor example, to prepare us to deal with immediate danger, our bodies often: We usually experience fear when we sense we are in danger. Understanding them a little might help you make sense of your experiences and feelings. The freeze, flop, friend, fight or flight reactions are immediate, automatic and instinctive responses to fear. There are actually 5 of these common responses, including 'freeze', 'flop' and 'friend', as well as 'fight' or 'flight'. Have you heard of the 'fight or flight' response? Fight or flight is how people sometimes refer to our body's automatic reactions to fear. The reality is that we do not have any control over our bodies and how we are going to react. Understanding how we react to Trauma Most people think they now how they will react when faced with trauma you might have said to yourself or heard people say things like I would fight like hell or I would runaway or why didn’t you run etc.
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